* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * SEX, LIES, AND NECROMANCY by Daniel Parsons and Brandi Weed Murphy's Fifth Law: If nothing can possibly go wrong, it will anyway. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Grayson sat down on the front steps of the station and threw his hat at a pigeon. "Idiots!" "They can't find her?" Janie asked. "Nope. They're searching the surrounding buildings now." Angel regarded the pigeon, which was giving Tom a nasty look. "I still can't believe she got out. It seems too fantastic. I can't help but think she must have had help." "Maybe." Grayson gazed absentmindedly around the courtyard. "Who, though? Somebody in tha station?" "This sounds a little paranoid," Ardrin mumbled. "Hmmmm." After retrieving his hat, Grayson fell silent. "I think that's very unlikely, personally," Angel said. "While it is possible that Mr. Finger could have corrupted the local police, I'm sure that there would be some indication of it. There was nothing in his notes, and not a whiff of scandal around here." Janie grinned. "Besides, I haven't seen any tall leggy blondes or redheads for him to corrupt here." "Janie, do you remembah that biker you said was followin' us?" "Yeah. What about him?" "Is that him over by tha chemists? Don't look directly at him." Down the block, on the other side of the street, a man was sitting astride a motorcycle, eating from a plate of chips. Every now and then he looked up straight at them, then returned his attention to his meal. "No, but I recognize him. He was with Professor Samuels in London, when they snatched me." "All right, then. We've probably been followed all the way up. Damn, I should have spotted him earlier." "Could he have anything to do with Ms. Flash's disappearance?" "Maybe. We'll have to ask him, won't we?" Ardrin nodded. "Figure we should try to surround him?" Angel shook her head. "I think it would be a better idea to wait quietly for him to go dispose of his chips plate. He'll be away from his motorcycle then." "Should we try to get him out in a public place? If he's got friends, they might tell Samuels." "No. We're going ta tea." "Sir?" With a grin, Grayson said, "He needs to report back to Samuels sometime. Probably while we're eating. We go to eat, he leaves, we follow him back." "Great. I'll get the car out of the lot." Janie and Angel followed Grayson to the chips stand. "I suppose this means we'll have to take off in the middle of tea" Janie mused. "If all goes as Mr. Grayson predicts. A shame, really; I was getting rather hungry." "We could still take a sandwich if we have to jump up and leave." "Yes. We're charging into another firefight, so don't forget the sandwiches. Although hospitals prefer you to have an empty stomach." "You're morbid today, aren't you? What kind of tea you want?" "Liptons, with cream. And no, I'm not morbid. I'm just feeling a bit undervalued. With Mr. Grayson along, I'm beginning to feel that we're really not very important to this investigation at all." Janie stared at Angel. "Angel, he's our super. He's got years on us. He's supposed to be doing this." "Oh, I agree completely. But he doesn't even listen to us. It's just 'Go here, do this' all the time. He just ignores anything we have to offer." They sat down at their table. "Angel, be fair. We haven't offered much of anything." Angel frowned and put their tray down. "I still prefer Mr. Samuels as a supervisor. I felt more as though we were conducting the investigation, not being led around by the hand." "It is our first mission, you know." Janie squeezed some honey out of the bear-shaped squeeze bottle into her tea. "True. Honey?" "Yes, sugar-pie?" Angel glared at Janie. "I'm very glad Ardrin and Mr. Grayson didn't hear that. I'm beginning to have my doubts about you." Janie laughed. "I'm sorry, bad joke. I like honey in my tea. Tastes better than sugar." Angel raised an eyebrow. "If you prefer it. Sweetie." Janie laughed. "There's hope for you yet." At the other table, Ardrin had joined Grayson. "Still there." "Yep. Just finishing his chips. He'll probably be getting bored in another couple minutes. Chip?" "Sure, thanks. What makes you think he'll leave, anyway?" "Call it masculine intuition. He doesn't look like he's figured out we're on to him, so he figures we'll stay in one place while we have a nice, leisurely tea. Get yourself a tray so it looks like you'll be here a while, why doncha?" "Sure. The lines looks long enough, anyway." Casually, they had their tea, ordered more chips and pies, and chatted among themselves, while the biker across the street slowly became bored and restless. They were almost full before he finally took off. Grayson waited about five seconds, then they all dashed to the car. The biker was riding along leisurely, not paying much attention, and was easy to follow. After about 15 minutes, he pulled his bike in in front of a scungy boarding house, where eight other bikes were parked. Ardrin parked across the street. "Right," Grayson said. "I'll go in tha front. Janie, come with me. Angel and Ardrin, go 'round to tha back door. And keep an eye on the ground floor windows." "Yes, sir." "Lovely. Now, there could be trouble with this. If she's here, Samuels'll have some serious charges tacked onto assaulting one of her Majesty's agents. And if he's as jumpy as Janie said, he may try somethin' desperate." "What about the bikers?" Janie said, "I really don't think they'd stick their necks out for him. They think he's a berk." "That's a plus. No sudden moves, and be ready for anything." They all nodded, and Grayson and Janie got out. Ardrin drove to the back of the building, noting as he went that most of the ground floor windows were boarded up, and the rest didn't look like they'd open. There were two doors at the rear of the building, one open and other closed. Ardrin parked beside the open door. "Angel, hand me my rifle." "Certainly. Where is it?" "Should be under the seat back there." Angel sat up to lift the seat and grope around underneath, when suddenly a shot ripped through the side of Ardrin's car, blowing his door open. Ardrin dived for the floor, as Angel shouted, "Ardrin, your gun went off!" At the front of the building, Grayson snapped his sidearm out and leaped through the open front door. "Nobody move!" Inside the building there was a large lounge or front room. Several people were sitting around, all of them extremely surprised, staring at Grayson. Janie quickly joined him in the doorway, levelling her own gun at all the people. "MI5. Everybody lie down, with your hands on your head." "Cover me." Grayson slid along the back wall as everyone slowly lay down, towards a hall leading into the building. Janie nodded. "Right." Swearing, Ardrin climbed out of the front seat and drew his sidearm. Angel looked to the side of the building. "Ardrin, haven't you heard of a safety?" "Hell, yes. The safety was on. Shit. I'll bet those cops were playing with it while I was in the hospital." "Oh, damn it all... what do we do?" "I'm going in this door. Watch my back." Angel nodded, and stood beside the entrance, watching Ardrin go from door to door. All of them were locked. Around front, Grayson was doing the same with his hall, while Janie stood at the entrance, watching the people out in the lounge. They all looked confused, and some of them looked angry. The second door Grayson tried was unlocked, but as he kicked it open, a large box came flying out and hit him smack in the face, knocking him flat to the floor. Professor Samuels then leaped out of the room, over Grayson, and sprinted down the hall, laughing maniacally. Janie started to run after him, when she glanced down at the thing that had hit Grayson. It was a large, heavy box, with "Kaypro" on the side. "My God Tom, you've been sponned with an antique." Grayson stared up at Janie. "WHAT!? GET THE GODDAMN LEAD OUT YOU STUPID BITCH, OR I'LL RIP YOUR BLEEDIN' CUNT OUT AND MAKE IT INTO A COIN PURSE!!" "Sir! Yes, sir!" Janie, hardly even aware of what she'd shouted, ran down the hall after Samuels, who had turned a corner up ahead. Outside, Angel was trying to get rid of a crowd of small boys who'd gathered when they heard the shot, when Samuels came barreling out of the closed door and took off down the alley. Angel leaped from the Range Rover and took off in pursuit. "Halt, or I'll shoot!" Samuels glanced back, saw Angel, and knocked over one of the boys, grabbing his bicycle. Janie came out the door and ran down the alley after Angel. Fortunately, the kid put up a fight - not much of one, but he held onto his bike, hollering and kicking Samuels' shins, until he had to abandon it and run from Angel. "Halt, Professor Samuels!" Angel shouted, "or I will shoot you!" Samuels grabbed a pole and swung around a corner behind another building. When Angel skidded around, he had stopped and turned around, so she almost ran right into him, nearly impaling herself on the knife he had drawn. Snarling incoherently, he slashed at her, cutting along the back of her right hand, sending her gun skittering away in the alley. Angel yelped at the pain, and raised her arm to block the second wild slash already coming. "Angel, drop!" Angel dropped, and Janie shot Samuels straight in the chest. He staggered back, looking more shocked than anything else. Then, he dropped the knife, and fell back in a heap, twitching and trembling. Janie ran up as Angel rose, holding her hand. "Janie, get the first aid kit from the car. Here, you, boy! Find a phone and call the police." "Sure, lady. Thanks for droppin' him; he tried to take my bike!" "It's not 'dropping'; he's been shot and may be dying. Now go!" Daniel Parsons Brandi Weed Questions or comments to dparsons@netcom.com Available for ftp from ftp.cs.pdx.edu, in /pub/frp/stories/SLN